Gratitude Day 285

Fri., June 14, 2019

1 Timothy 1:15 – Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst.

The past several weeks, I have been blessed with many great opportunities. Ways that I have had an opportunity to be involved with, participate, serve or help someone else.

In case you missed it, “blessed with many great opportunities” is code for “I struggle with saying, ‘No.’”

I’m the type of person who can say “Yes” to nearly everyone except herself. I can and will re-arrange my schedule to accommodate any request … unless the request is for my personal wellbeing or care. Then, everyone else’s request takes precedence.

When I feel like I’ve had a very full day or I haven’t prioritized time to exercise or quiet my soul, I often “treat” myself to something unhealthy, trashy or a complete time waster.

But, oh, it feels so good.

I know. Instead of watching an episode of some ridiculous television show that is certainly not based on reality, I should go for a walk or a run. Rather than fill more time with something that can only be defined as a means of escaping my overcommitments, it would be more constructive if I cared for my heart and soul. But instead, I treat myself to ice cream. There’s a reason I do not regularly keep ice cream in the house. I’d easily weigh 300 pounds if I did.

So why do I convince myself that I can speed through a pre-recorded silly TV show in two-thirds the time by skipping all commercials but don’t feel I have time to read a great book? Or how can it be that my anxiety level seems to immediately lower the moment any flavor of ice cream melts in my mouth?

Because I struggle with caring for myself, I allow myself to “treat” myself to something that definitely is not a treat but simply a “break” from the real world. It’s an escape. A time waster that allows me to step out of my sinful nature and relish, “Well, at least I’m not like her …”

Oh, the mind gymnastics we allow ourselves to play.

I know it would be far more helpful to read something helpful or well-written than slump down into a comfy chair in front of the TV. Or just allow our tired and weary soul a chance to be. But instead, I convince myself that a small treat or reprieve is justified.

When your heart or soul is tired, is there some silly “treat” you allow yourself to experience? Like me, do you feel a little guilty about it … but not enough to change your behavior? How do you move away from feeling you “deserve” this silly escape and direct your behavior towards something more positive and helpful?

Today, I’m grateful that I know a God who overlooks my silly choices and behaviors. Who accepts me the way I am and loves me in spite of when I make less-than-desirable choices.  Who doesn’t give up on me.

For God’s acceptance of me, I am grateful.

Lord God – thanks for accepting me, warts and all. Thanks for overlooking my shortcomings and poor choices. Thanks for accepting me the way I am. Amen.

Blessings –

Dianne

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