A Letter to Hotmail

Gratitude Day 511

Fri., Sept. 18, 2020

2 Corinthians 11:16-20 – Let me come back to where I started—and don’t hold it against me if I continue to sound a little foolish. Or if you’d rather, just accept that I am a fool and let me rant on a little. I didn’t learn this kind of talk from Christ. Oh, no, it’s a bad habit I picked up from the three-ring preachers that are so popular these days. Since you sit there in the judgment seat observing all these shenanigans, you can afford to humor an occasional fool who happens along.

Dear Hotmail:

I’ve been a VERY loyal Hotmail e-mail customer for YEARS. DECADES, really. For way too long, I’ve hung onto my original e-mail address because I didn’t want to go through the hassle of letting every Tom, Dick and Harriet that I know about a new e-mail address. (Maybe, just maybe, I’ve wanted to keep the one last piece of evidence of my maiden name. If I was truly being honest, yes, this is the real reason for not giving up on my Hotmail address. But I digress.)

One day, I needed a g-mail address to activate a new Android phone. Highly disappointed that I couldn’t use my Hotmail account, I quickly made one up on the spot. I told no one about this e-mail address because I felt connected to that Hotmail address. Yes, the g-mail account is active. I only give it to companies that I don’t want to hear from. Basically, it’s a junk e-mail box.

Which leads me to the point of this letter. Over time, the amount of junk e-mail I received in my Hotmail account slowly went up and up. A few spam e-mails here. A few spam e-mails there. And then, wa-bam! I began receiving 100+ junk e-mails a day.

I would be happy if I never received another e-mail trying to sell me the newest Keto diet or CDB gummies or CDB oil again. I have never signed up for Netflix and therefore, haven’t had an issue signing into my account. Please stop sending me hundreds of e-mails that say I have. I’m not a great survey taker. Kindly let the folks over at CVS, Wal-Mart, Lowes and any other big box store that want to give me a $50 gift card for completing a survey that they can keep it for someone else.

I don’t have diabetes. My husband’s and I’s hormone levels are doing just fine. Our home doesn’t need a home warranty, nor do I have any interest in Bitcoin. For that matter, gambling is not my thing. Just stop sending me any e-mail related to gambling or betting.

If my teeth need fixing, I’ll happily go to my current dentist. My mattress is fine, and I don’t have any pets. I definitely know that I’m not the best candidate for a tarot card reading.

So, please, please, please … block all of these e-mails from arriving in my inbox day after day after day? Please?

Yes, an amazing thing happened about mid-March. When the pandemic began and everything was mostly shut down and we were all staying at home, I discovered one small silver lining. My junk mailbox was EMPTY! Literally, one day I was getting over 100. The next day, none. Zero. Nada.

I long for those days again. It was so fun to click on the “Junk” folder and find it empty! Or only with e-mails only from someone that I hadn’t added to my contact list.

Those days were beautiful. But short-lived. The 100+ days are back. My eyes glaze over, trying to find that one or two e-mails that I really need to read.  

Why can’t these e-mails just be stopped? My work Outlook address rarely lets a rogue e-mail in. But Hotmail? There is simply no filter, discouragement or stopping of all those e-mails cluttering up my life.  

I’ve tried blocking these e-mails, reporting them, labeling filters that would stop them in their tracks. Yet, Big Brother continues to let them in.

What I would like to know is where the e-mails that I really AM looking for are going. Every week, I discover at least one person who sent me an e-mail … that I never received. Someone I actually know! Who I have previously corresponded with! How do the extended warranty e-mails get through while the person I actually know gets filtered out??!!

And so, dear Hotmail, it’s time for us to say good-bye. To end our long-standing relationship. I’m so sad to not have dideaton@hotmail.com as my default e-mail address. Sometimes, all good things must come to an end. I guess we’re there.

Blessings –

Dianne D. Vielhuber

P.S. – If you want to respond to this letter, you and everyone else can now contact me at diannevielhuber@gmail.com. I’ll still be checking my Hotmail account for now but am committed to a long-term relationship with g-mail.  

For the opportunity to add a little humor to life when it feels so frustrating, I am grateful.

Dear God – I have no intention of cluttering up your desk with something as silly as junk e-mail. Please keep focused on the really big stuff, like hurricanes, wildfires, pandemics and the like. Yet, thank you for the gift of humor. It does help at times. Keep reminding me of this, which, is truly more important than irritating junk e-mails. Amen.

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