Gratitude Day 66 – Letting Go of Superwoman

superwoman

Fri., June 15, 2018

Matthew 19:26 – Jesus looked at them carefully and said, “It’s impossible for human beings. But all things are possible for God.”

The music builds. One second, she’s a seemingly “normal” woman, dressed in business casual and carrying a stylish handbag. A second later, a bright red cape flies behind her perfectly proportioned body, covered from head-to-toe in spandex. A huge “S” covers her torso. She calls into action her special super-power. In the bat of an eye, Superwoman is off to conquer her next big adventure or save a person’s life.

We feel a little flutter in our tummy. Maybe, we, too, can be a super-hero. Maybe we too, can change people’s lives.

Unfortunately, I have bought completely bought into the idea that being a Superwoman is possible. Average will no longer cut it. I must up my “A” game and develop my own skill set of super-powers. I, too, must be Superwoman, I convince myself.

What is a Superwoman or Superman? While your definition may vary from mine, here are a few thoughts.

Superwomen handle multiple jobs (paid or unpaid), are heavily involved in their local community and seldom miss a child or grandchild’s special event. The dishwasher cleans this morning’s breakfast dishes before anyone rushes out the door, ready for post-dinner dirty dishes. A meal sizzles on the stove or in the oven as he or she stands at the counter paying bills. The house is company-ready at all times. The fridge is stocked with items for an unplanned, last-minute meal to be delivered to the neighbor who has just gone through a family tragedy. Her children’s school notes are signed on time. A color-coded family calendar hangs visible. An extra $100 is tucked in her wallet “just in case.” She knows just when to contact a struggling friend, rarely allows for an accumulation of unanswered text and e-mail messages, and gathers her slew of great friends together for a memorable evening in a moment’s notice.

Anyone else feeling miserable, highly underqualified for the job and overwhelmed all at the same time?

Did you see my hand shoot up quicker than yours?

I have spent most of my life trying to be this Superwoman. And failing miserably. It may seem I have things together on the outside. But on the inside, I yearn for peace. Contentment. An afternoon to sit on the beautiful swings Hubby Rick recently built and installed in our backyard (I should post an update) … and not feel guilty.

Over and over, I have willed myself to get my life under control. To cut back on the great opportunities that are part of my life. Be more efficient with my time. Lose the 10 pounds my doctor really, really wants me to drop once and for all. Have the right thing to say. Keep the snarky comment to myself.

My will lasts about 30 minutes and I fall off the Superwoman bandwagon.

This week, I tried to be Superwoman and failed. Work things haven’t been accomplished. I missed a funeral because of another commitment. Why didn’t I reschedule this? These next few days will be overfull. I am not sure I am mentally, emotionally or spiritually in the right place.

My thoughts are clouded with, “Who have I let down this week?” Maybe what I should be pondering is, “Why have I let myself down again?”

Then, I see these words in my journal: God sees something in me that I don’t see in myself. I see all my fears and insecurities and worries and just general yuck. God looks at me and sees something entirely different. God sees something God can use for God’s plan and purpose.

The words are a paraphrase from Everyday Holy: Finding a Big God in the Little Moments by Melanie Shankle. I took Melanie’s words and personalized them. I tried to get this Superwoman to see that I don’t have to be super-human. What is impossible for me is possible for God. I don’t have to be all, do all and understand all. This is not my job. It’s God’s job.

Today, I’m trying to extend myself a bit more grace. A bit more acceptance. A bit less Superwoman and a bit more Dianne. If only for today.

For this, I am grateful.

Lord God forgive me for the times I think I must be Superwoman. Help me let go of when I want to be all and do all rather than resting in your loving arms. May Your peace and contentment rain over my day and bring me joy, happiness and gratitude. Amen.

Blessings –

Dianne

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