Thurs., Apr. 12, 2018
Hebrews 11:1 – Now faith is the reality of what is hoped for, the proof of what is not seen.
Today, I realized that it has been over four months since I stepped away from serving two churches to focus on writing. I wanted space to focus on things I have felt God calling me to do. Four months to get my life in order and launch new things. Four months to get settled.
Four months later … and reality has set in. I have yet to wake up some morning and think, “Hmm, what will I do today?” No, I feel like I have too many things to choose from.
Yes, I have been writing. Some. Sporadically. Not as much as I had hoped. I have these great ideas and plans. And they fail.
Reality sets in.
I have lots of good reasons and excuses for why I have not written as much as I would like. Some are good reasons. Some are flimsier. This is my reality.
Normally a very organized person, the picture with the post is what the credenza behind my desk looks like today. It’s truly a metaphor for how my life feels. The disorganization drives me nuts.
Each day, I know I choose what to do. Some days, I just make better choices than others. Other days, I do not feel like I still have the option to make the choices I would like. On those days, I am reminded that I still make choices about the things I am choosing to do. I just am disappointed with my choices.
This is my reality.
I know I am not the only person who struggles with this. I sat with some women tonight who have similar feelings at a Bible study. No one had great solutions. Maybe just commiseration.
Yet, today’s reality is today. Rather than get overwhelmed, anxious or upset about today’s reality, maybe my perspective is just to live in it for today.
The reality is faith is not based on something we can see. Faith is always built on feeling, emotion and hunches. It’s trusting in something bigger than yourself and following your mind and heart to make sense of this.
Reality is no different. Some days, I simply must trust that what I do today is part of something bigger and beyond me. I keep reminding myself that today’s reality just gives me lots of great experience and info for the book I will get written, someday.
If you are struggling with today’s reality, take heart. Have hope that God will use whatever you did or didn’t do today for God’s kingdom. God’s reality is so much different from our reality.
For this, I am grateful.
Lord God – thanks for being patient with me. You are so much more patient with me than I am with myself. When I become frustrated, overwhelmed and anxious, may I see your loving arms as a soft place for me to land. Daily. This is today’s reality. Amen.
If you have enjoyed this blog, please pass it along to someone else who also enjoy it.