For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
Thirteen years ago today I became Mrs. Dianne Vielhuber. When I entered the ministry, I was not sure that I would get married. Who would want to marry a pastor? I met Rick at my first appointment. God does have a sense of humor!
I cannot believe I counseled couples before I was married. How silly was I! While I thought I was prepared for marriage, I quickly discovered I was naïve. Here’s a short list of things I have learned the last 13 years:
- I will never be a mind reader, especially with my husband. Thinking the exact opposite of what I would like him to think is probably closer. If I only had $1 for each time he told me the first years we were married, “But I thought you would just know this.” I still get weekly surprises.
- Never commit your spouse to something without checking with them first. Your idea of what they should do and their idea are not the same.
- When something is REALLY important, I cannot expect my spouse to automatically know this. It is much easier to just tell the other person.
- I cannot change who my husband is. I can only love him the way he is and change myself. Life is really a lot less frustrating when couples respect this.
- Remember to thank God every day for your partner. Sprinkle your conversations with the words “I love you,” “Please forgive me,” “I forgive you,” and “Thank you” every single day. Seriously, every day.
- Keep your marriage centered around Christ. When Rick and I include Christ in our relationship, it works much better. Rick is a beloved child of God and I need to treat him this way, even when I want to throttle him.
Recently, Rick and I went shopping together. This only happens about once every six months. I remembered why. While checking out, Rick tried to be his witty, charming self. The 16-year-old, new checkout person at Farm & Fleet didn’t know what to do. The 65-year-old lady at Menard’s looked at me and said, “Your house is never boring, is it?” My husband replied, “She’s been putting up with me for almost 13 years.”
We aren’t set any long-time marriage record. We still learn from each other every week. At the end of the day, I still am thrilled he is my spouse. I chose him 13 years ago. I choose him again today. This is our forever after.
Lord God – Thank you for ordaining marriage and providing a way for couples to make lifetime commitments to each other and you. I thank you for the man who is my husband. Thank you for making him unique and special. Help me appreciate this every day. Encourage me be a spouse that supports, loves, respects, honors and encourages him daily. I pray for couples who are struggling right now. Please bring forth reconciliation, compromise and a loving spirit. Amen.
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