When Relationships Are Important

Gratitude Day 410

Fri., Feb. 21, 2020

Ephesians 4:2: Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

Most days, I take relationships for granted. While I like to think that I know today is called a gift for a reason, it is also very easy to just assume those people who are so important to us will always be there.

So, we become complacent. Take the day for granted. Promise ourselves that “tomorrow, we’ll make time” for an important relationship.

Folks … let’s not wait until tomorrow. If a relationship IS important, allow for this TODAY!

Whether the relationship is a partner, a child, a grandchild or a friend … it’s worth the extra time in effort.

Hubby Rick and I have been married for nearly two decades. Sometimes, we’re super good about making sure each other knows how important this relationship is to us. Other times? We fail to do so.

But when we take time to bear one another in love, it is amazing how special we both feel.

Would you like a couple examples of how we bear each other in love and make our relationship important? Good! I’m ready to share a few simple ideas.

Small expressions are deeply meaningful. Neither Rick nor I would consider gifts our main love language. We do not get gifts for each other on a regular basis. So, when a gift shows up? It’s kind of a big deal.

Even when the gift seems like such a simple thing.

Hubby Rick likes to “surprise” me at holidays. Often, I won’t receive a card or some other indication of a holiday until, well, a few days or a week or two later. Imagine my surprise on the most recent Valentine’s Day when I discovered this little gift sitting on the kitchen island. Rick works nights. He put out this little gift for me before he went to bed.

But it goes beyond candy and a card. Reese’s cups are my FAVORITE candy. Hands down. Rick knows that I’ve been carefully observing what I eat these days. So, he gave me a box of candy with just a few Reese’s. If I’m going to indulge, then best I indulge with what I really like!

And the card? Well, I didn’t realize how cool this was initially! For the past number of years, Scrabble has been my go-to game. I love the challenge of coming up with words and finding ways to get more points with a word. So, when I opened the card and saw this, my heart simply melted. (NOTE: the letters for WIFE are ACTUAL Scrabble letters! How cool!)

My guess is Rick stopped on his way to work at Walgreens or some other store, ran in and in five minutes, was back in the car. BUT what we picked out for me? Things he knew would be something I would love and appreciate.

Gifts do not have to be large. Big. Out of this world. Reese’s cups and a Scrabble card? What is a girl not to love!

Compared to Rick’s little treats for me, how did I do? Well, it took me a couple days to fully get my gift to Rick together. He is not a big sweet person. If there is one sweet he likes, it’s a lemon meringue pie. Yep, that’s what he got. The entire pie.

Prioritize time with those who you love. Rather than gifts, quality time is more of Rick and my love languages. When we make time to do something fun together, it really is a home run.  

For a few weeks this winter, there was an ice castle exhibit a couple hours from our house. I thought this would be a fun date night for us. Rick took a night off of work and we spent the afternoon and evening in Lake Geneva, culminating by going to the ice castles. The temperature was about 30 degrees, which made for a love night. Snow fell while we were there which made it almost seem magical. Built into the ice castles are lights which change colors. There are places to sled, fire pits with benches around them, water fountains and just a great event for the entire family.

We took our time and enjoyed the evening. We had opportunity to talk about various things, people watch and just be together. We agreed this was a great night.

Now, if getting away for an evening isn’t possible, find a way to do something at home that becomes quality time. Sometimes, we go for a bike ride together (yes, even in the winter!) or a walk. Rick likes it when we bike to a hill not too far from town, walk up and down the hill and then ride our bikes back home. When we choose to do something that the other person enjoys do, we make significant deposits into their love banks. Highly recommended.

Focus on a project that the other person would love. For the past year, Hubby Rick spent countless hours remodeling an old apartment-sized kitchen in the upstairs of our house into a master bathroom.

The space had a complete overhaul. Right down to the studs.

He spent hours and hours getting things just right. When we realized that installing a shower this big was a larger project than he anticipated, he watched hundreds of YouTube videos for suggestions on how to do things right. And when I say hundreds, I’m not exaggerating.

Rick knew this bathroom was something I was looking forward to. While it took awhile to get everything completed, it turned our gorgeous. It truly is a wonderful example of how remaking something can be amazing.

The project does not need to be a bathroom overhaul. It can be a 10- or 15-minute job that simple says to the other person, “I care for you and I want to give something to you just because.”

When I think of all the hours Rick spent getting the bathroom right, I feel loved and appreciated. You can do this same thing for someone else.

Ephesians is clear: be patient, humble and gentle. When we embody these characteristics, we speak loudly to those we love how important they are to us. Yes, we can say the words, “I love you” to someone regularly. And we should! But our actions towards another always speaks than our actual words. This is how we bear one another in love.

For opportunities to honor an important relationship, I am grateful.

Blessings –

Dianne

Dear God – too often, the people who mean the most to us get our leftovers: whatever is left over at the end of the day. Encourage us to prioritize those most special relationships in our lives and make them a priority. Amen.

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